You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
