Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize