her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
