i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
This house was built for laser tag.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
