And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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