he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
