every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize