SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
