His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize