I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
