He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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