just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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