3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
