You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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