this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
