A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Non-Jews are for practice
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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