I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
