They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
