For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There's always time for handjobs
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
