Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Im part way to drunk.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Panties = found
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
