..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
