I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
