Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
