My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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