i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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