you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
