Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
