I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
did you just send me my own nude
Randomize
