party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Randomize
