So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
