Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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