Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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