his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
