i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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