I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
