I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
