How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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