Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize