she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
