Banned from zoo.
Again?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
