These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
is that a dick in a sweater?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
