We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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