16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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