I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
