can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
