I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize