I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
