Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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