I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
