to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Why can't burritos get me drunk
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
