You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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