Ketchup is God's man juice
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
