"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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