Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
