Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize