I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
