You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
