Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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