He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
